{"id":2599,"date":"2025-02-25T08:34:16","date_gmt":"2025-02-25T08:34:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/?p=2599"},"modified":"2025-02-25T08:41:01","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T08:41:01","slug":"the-ndlanzis-on-ubungoma-parenting-and-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/2025\/02\/25\/the-ndlanzis-on-ubungoma-parenting-and-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ndlanzi\u2019s on Ubungoma, parenting and marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

By GUGULETHU MHLONGO<\/strong><\/p>

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Gogo, pens a heart-warming message to Mkhulu, \u201cMy love, finally seeing you ascend to your throne my king. Is the best anniversary gift ever. When I ssaid yes 14 years ago. I knew I was marrying the many you Ndabezitha. To say I am proud of what you were able to achieve at the @leanorestaurant, on the 6th of November is an understatement. You are not just a brilliant musician, but youo bring the house on fire! You are a multi gifted Healer, I know. Raise my king! shine! Nkabantine, you have earned your stripes, Lokothwayo! Love you a long time. Here is the beginning of your musical journey!<\/em><\/p>

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It is the month of love and in celebration, we had the honour of talking to the Ndlanzi\u2019s. Gogo Dineo Ndlanzi and Mkhulu Mkhatshwa were kind enough to let us peak into their daily lives and shared some sweet and gentle tips on keeping the fire burning as two Sangoma\u2019s and Gobela\u2019s who are married to each other. They are not just a married couple, they are a team and known in South Africa and beyond our borders for their powerful union. They separated for a few years due to marital issues. Today they share with IDLOZI MAGAZINE readers, how their separation was a lesson and a blessing that lead them back to each others loving arms. Mkhulu Mkhatshwa opens up about having a powerhouse for a wife and how he doesn\u2019t let his masculinity come in the way of supporting and encouraging his hard working wife. Together they share their advices with young and new Sangoma couples on ceremonies they can perform in binding and in acknowledging the coming together of their Ancestors. In working as a team and not as individuals. In handling misunderstandings. As well as in respecting each others limits and boundaries. In our question and answer interview with the Ndlanzi\u2019s, we left no stone unturned, in finding out how they lead their daily lives, manage their household, Dlozi work, parenting and ukuthwasisa. This is a thoughful and unforgettable \u2018tell all\u2019 on two love birds who found their way back into each others arms and continue to build their empire together. They are the Ndlanzi\u2019s.<\/p>

I: As two Traditional Healers, who are both practising Sangoma\u2019s. Please enlighten our readers on the ceremony that needs to be performed before marriage?<\/strong><\/p>

G: So we married at quite a young age, I was a born-again, devoted Christian. While Mkhulu was a traditionalist, but not a Sangoma. We\u2019ve been married for seventeen years. Transitioning for me, from Christianity to Africanism was not easy. However, we still needed to practise the ritual where we; both paid a dowry price for each others Ancestors. The ceremony is binding. Initially, a couple is supposed to perform this ceremony or ritual before intimacy. However, in our impande. As Mkhulu and I are both not just Sangoma\u2019s but Gobela\u2019s. We don\u2019t undertake our initiate through this process if they are not married. If they are just partners. We don\u2019t do introductions of the Ancestors or \u2018ukukhungwa kwempande\u2019, whereby, the initiates partner pays money to uGobela in acknowledging their partners place of initiation. This is said to give them access to for visitations where they bring food stuffs or money. As well as a sign of respect tothe Ancestors. So Mkulu and I, at our impande don\u2019t observe this ceremony for initiates who are not married to each other, as it is binding.<\/p>

I: With regards to Gogo and Mkhulu\u2019s separation. What lessons would you say you both learned during your time separated, that lead you to decide to reconcile?<\/strong><\/p>

M: I would say that our separation was a necessary break. Before our separation, we became too familiar with each other. To a point where we were no longer able to respect each others boundaries. We became complacent and started taking each other for granted. I would say that our separation was instrumental or an eye-opener in seeing that maybe the grass isn\u2019t always greener on the other side. Rather that it is watered and nourished accordingly and with Gogo, we stopped pouring into each other and thought there was better elsewhere.<\/p>

G: My lesson from our separation is that, I was not always present to the pain of our drifting apart. I can also add that infidelity, tempered with the sacredness of our union.<\/p>

I: Moving onto parenting. As two Sangoma\u2019s and Gobela\u2019s, working together.<\/strong> How have you prepared your<\/strong> spiritually gifted children for their individual callings?<\/strong><\/p>

G: As a Traditional Healer, neutrality goes out the window with your biological children. However, I believe that we\u2019ve taught them so much. Sibusiso, could slaughter at the age of twelve, and he slaughtered his first cow at the age of sixteen. He really touched my heart with his famous, \u201cangizenzelanga\u201d, Dlozi song some few years ago and I cried when he went into a trans. Our children come from us, but they are not ours. They are assigned to us. We do what we can do for them to ensure that the process is not as traumatic as it is for us as parents. I believe that whoever that\u2019s going to initiate my children needs to be an integrable and ethical Gobela. As not everyone carries these principles in their work.<\/p>

I: How do you both handle initiates who test your bond or team-work as two Gobela\u2019s who are also married to each other. Especially because Gogo is the more strict parent or Gobela?<\/strong><\/p>

M: You can\u2019t learn to initiate Amathwasa, overnight. It\u2019s important to always show up as a united front. As a father, I always try to soften the situation and calm it without disrespecting Gogo or being too lenient with initiates. It\u2019s important for the initiates to not see us as individuals, for them to realise that being repremanded is a way of correcting and empowering them rather than a tool to attack them or cause emotional harm.<\/p>

I: With the demands that come with being a Gobela, including performing rituals or ceremonies. How do you both navigate the incredible call to go into a period of fasting, especially when there is a desire for intimacy. The yearning need for affection and reassurance from each other?<\/strong><\/p>

G: Mkhulu\u2019s Ancestors are very romantic! They will sing Dlozi songs and show romantic gestures during fasting. Which keeps our intimacy alive during periods of fasting.<\/p>

M: Our Ancestors, have a lot of charisma and express themselves in a remarkable way. Experience is the best teacher, for all of us. Through mistakes and communication, we learn each others love languages.We also decided to reside away from Isigodlo, and built our house away from isigodlo to give us time for \u2018us\u2019, as a couple.<\/p>

I: As South Africa\u2019s number one Sangoma couple. With years of experience working as Traditional Healers. Having experienced separation and being at the brink of a divorce. What advice would you give to a young or new Sangoma<\/strong> couple, in balancing their marriage and making \u2018it\u2019 work?<\/strong><\/p>

G: The impression you give is very important, never involve Amathwasa in your disputes. My advice is to always get a neutral person to intervene or interject and normalise the order of your marriage. You need to learn to plan ahead, especially for big ceremonies and rituals. To avoid burn outs and fatigue. Share roles, and trust each others capabilities.<\/p>

I: Mkhulu, having a \u2018powerhouse\u2019, for a wife. As the man of the house and as Gogo\u2019s husband, how do you supress your masculinity in understanding the demands of Gogo\u2019s brand, without feeling less of a man?<\/strong><\/p>

M: Gogo, was already traveling before we started initiating. Long before she was the, \u2018Gogo Dineo Ndlanzi\u2019. I understand that Gogo needs to work. I know that she is considerate in how she carries herself and she is mindful that she has a husband. I also appreciate and acknowledge that her efforts go towards our household and I know that if she\u2019s not at her best. She will not flourish, we will not flourish! When she wins, I win! She carries my name when she goes out there to work, we are a team! I even make sure to send her a text to support her if I\u2019m unable to make it to her event.<\/p>

G: Mkhulu is so secure with me!<\/p>

I: Being that it is the month of<\/strong> love, please share with us what<\/strong> your ultimate date night looks like?<\/strong><\/p>

M: I regularly get Gogo flowers as a way of showing her my appreciation for her.<\/p>

G: Mkhulu is very thoughtful, and I like how he is always maticulous about putting things together. He would get a bouquet of flowers along with other goodies delivered to our home. For our typical date night, we dress up and get ready for a date at an five star restaurant. My absolute favourite moments are when we dress up in matching outfits!<\/p>

<\/p>

Idlozi Magazine, thanks the Ndlanzi\u2019s for making time to talk to us and to feature in our February 2025 edition. We understand that you operate under a very busy schedule because of the various hats that you wear, leading to shared responsibilities. Thank you so much Gogo and Mkhulu, we truly appreciate you both!<\/em><\/p>

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By GUGULETHU MHLONGO Gogo, pens a heart-warming message to Mkhulu, \u201cMy love, finally seeing you ascend to your throne my king. Is the best anniversary gift ever. When I ssaid yes 14 years ago. I knew I was marrying the many you Ndabezitha. To say I am proud of what you were able to achieve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2603,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[268],"tags":[111,109,134,127,110,136,135],"class_list":{"0":"post-2599","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-the-ndlanzis","8":"tag-emakhosini","9":"tag-idlozi-magazine","10":"tag-sangoma-initiation","11":"tag-spirituality","12":"tag-thokoza-gogo","13":"tag-ukuphothula","14":"tag-ukuthwasa"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2599"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2602,"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2599\/revisions\/2602"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2603"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idlozimagazine.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}