Celebrating love with Dr Maweni and Mkhulu Mgube

As IDLOZI MAGAZINE, we had the great honour of hosting the Mgube’s to a ‘love-bomed”, African Bridal themed photoshoot. The shoot took place on the eve of St. Valentine’s Day, at the beautiful Ekuthuleni Guesthouse in Orlando West- Soweto in Johannesburg. After enjoying enjoying their hot breakfast, curtesy of the Ekuthuleni Guesthouse. Our Publishing Editor, Gugu Mhlongo, had the honour of sitting down with Dr Maweni and Mkhulu Mgube as they
‘educated” us on how to keep the love flowing in a marriage.
The Mgube’s tied their knot just three months after meeting and they have been married for half a decade. We treated the beautiful duo to a romantic photoshoot in celebration of their genuine and warm love. We have watched the Mgube’s over the years and witnessed their partnership. Not only in their many businesses but also as lovers, friends, parents and in spirituality.
Later on we sat the duo down for some pre and post marital advice according to their experiences as a couple.
We intentionally kept the conversation centered around African Spirituality and love. As a publication, we have received numerous questions around, “why its so difficult for spiritually gifted people to keep their relationships”. We are proud to say that we managed to squeeze out all the wisdom from the Mgube’s, who were more than happy to talk to us about love and African Spirituality.
Q: Gogo, is there a ritual that we are supposed to pertorm as African Traditional Healers when we get into relationships, is there a muthi you can advise us to use, because, ‘WOW?
A: I really don’t believe in idliso, although I do provide it. I don’t believe in it, in the sense that / would never use muthi on Sabelo. I would never do that because I’ve been through so many failed
relationships. Relationships
where I’ve spent years with people. They were loving relationships at the time.
Things that expire are things not meant for you. I spoke to my ancestors and asked them for their will to be done.
I prayed and talked to God. If I want anything, I always pray and ‘phahla’. The problem with us
Traditional Healers is that we don’t want to be led. We want to do the leading. You cannot be having different partners, and having sex like it’s Christmas. There are spirits that live and shine through us as a Traditional Healers. There is something called sexual and soul ties and as ‘izangoma’ we no longer cleanse ourselves.
We go to ‘imigidi, we get ourselves intoxicated, we have random sexual intercourse with random people while at ‘imigidi.
Which is a problem because spiritually you are supposed to be clean. How then do we pray or ‘phahla’ and ask our ancestors for partners. Are they supposed to take us seriously?!
Ihave clients who come to see me all the time and ask me for ‘idliso’, but / always sit them down first and tell them that before they can enforce love on anyone else they need to love themselves first. I truly believe that we all have soul-partners, someone who is going to love and respect us. Another thing is that / don’t give my clients muthi before consulting with my bones. If I find that I’m not supposed to give that client idliso’ then I don’t. I will never give my clients a herb that.
wont work for them, because / always rely on my clients to refer me to others Q: Mkhulu, when it comes to handling conflict. Especially when it comes to working together as partners, you both have very little time during the day.
When and how do you address issues, specially knowing that the bedroom is not the place to do so, neither can you address them in front of the children at home.
A: / would say we don’t really argue or find ourselves in conflict. However, if I find that she has said anything offensive to me ‘ll just say it in passing and usually, later on in the day she’ll call to say she heard what I said and she’d apologise.
On the question of love and romance, we asked Gogo how romantic Mkhulu is. We, follow them so closely on Instagram and we usually see Mkhulu occasionally spoiling Gogo with flowers, money, treats and so much more.
A: We dated for only three months and then got married. We are in our fifth year of marriage now, and when I met him he was slacking in romance. I didn’t coach him, but he would go out of his way calling me, and coming to see me. Then he would ask me out to dinner, buy me flowers. The flowers first came when I found a disturbing message on his phone. Nobody is perfect, and I voiced my disappointment Q: Gogo, when it comes to dreams, we have received numerous dreams from our followers. One follower wrote tous asking, ‘If I dream of my ex seated with my ancestors, what does it mean?” Gogo, does it mean that they should chase after the ex, is it a sign? A: It’s soul-ties and sexual-ties. People need to look at their relationships. When you have soul-ties you tend to attract the same guys…
The relationships always start the same way, you’ll start experiencing sex dreams and sleep paralysis.
When the relationship ends, it ends the same way.
Meaning you’ve got soul-ties. You don’t cleanse after your relationships. You, still are holding on to the energies exchanged. You become one with someone once you’ve had sex with them. So you need to ensure that you cleanse after every relationship. Maybe with that one partner, there is an ancestor of theirs that chose you or vice-versa. So if you don’t cleanse it becomes a problem. More especially if there were any ceremonies that were performed. You need to ensure that your ancestors are aware that you have both parted ways.
Q: Most of our followers as
IDLOZI MAGAZINE are
Sangoma’s. We regularly receive DM’s where they’d ask why it is they aren’t able to keep a relationship longer than three or six months.
A: It’s because they don’t ask their ancestors for partners.
LOVE & AFRICAN SPIRITUALITY
Remember, before you go into initiation, ‘Idlozi wants your attention. You will lose your material possessions, your job and more just for them to get your attention, hence you then go into initiation. So similarly to when you are now a
practicing Sangoma. if’Idlozi’ sees that you’re now focusing all of your attention on your partners, they will take that relationship away. I always find a balance and focus on being a healer.
Co-parenting is usually so challenging for most parents.
We then asked Mkhulu how he has found merging the children together and introductions.
A: The relationship between Gogo and my daughter is
very good. My daughter, Lisa, calls Gogo ‘mummy and she’ll call me by my name, Sabelo. If you force a relationship between your child and your partner, you are imposing. Always allow the bond to grow naturally.
In addition, Gogo added by saying,
A: I’ve never introduced Bab’ Sabelo to the boys as their father. The same with Lisa.
My kids know their fathers and they respect, Sabelo. At times you’ll hear them say.
“Sabelo, you’re my dad”. I needed to build my trust with Mkhulu, I needed to understand where our relationship was going, if we would be able to grow together. So, I didn’t see the need to introduce my boys to him.